Alcohol Related Jokes Page
Alcohol Joke #1: The Beer Prayer
Our lager,
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink,
Thy will be drunk,
(I will be drunk),
At home as I am in the tavern.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillage's,
As we forgive those who spill against us,
and lead us not to incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers,
For thine is the beer,
The bitter and the lager,
Forever and ever,
Barmen.
Alcohol Joke #2
A guy walks into a tavern and moseys up to the bar. The bartender asks him, "So pal, what do you like?" The guy says "I like Scotch" so the bartender pours him a scotch, and the guy downs it in one gulp.
The guy starts walking out the door when the bartender stops him. "Hey pal, you gonna pay for that drink you ordered?" The guy says "Ordered? I didn't order any drink. You asked me what I liked and I told you. If you're just gonna give me one, don't expect me to pay for it." The bartender gets all upset and tells the guy to get the hell out and never come back.
The next day, the bartender watches the same guy come sauntering into his bar. "You again! Get the hell out of my bar!" But the guy protests "what are you talking about? I've never been here before in my life!" The bartender says "Yes you were, you gyped me out of a shot yesterday!" The guy says "No way! I just flew into town this morning, I've never seen you or your bar before!"
The bartender is taken aback. "Okay, I'm sorry," he says, "You must have a double!"
"A double?" the guys says. "Great! Make it a scotch!"
